I’m so done of being second in your life i think i should be first.
you’ve picked me out of everyone to be with so why don’t you show it?
it’s getting down to the point where i wonder if i’m in the way
i just want you to be happy and if thats with someone else then don’t waste your time me and just go for whoever you want cuz it sure feels like im not the person you want.
if you wonder y ive changed from the person u first went out with is cuz uve changed me and made me cut off pretty much everything who i was and what i did. So i may not smoke weed or cigs anymore (go me) but really that was who i was, i was apart of the crowd and made me feel boring and not on the edge at all times. i miss living on the edge i love feeling so reckless just feeling like i had that attitude that i ddnt give a fuck at all. So i wasnt so legal but that was who i was. I lost who i was since you made me stop, who am i really?
i just wish i could still feel like that person who i was without getting in so much trouble. But honestly how can i be that person? It’s who i miss the most….
I miss the friends that i hungout with, i miss the conversations i used to have, the things we used to do, the shit we got into… even though im not that person i just wish i really could just go back.
im slowly getting to the problem of my whole situtuation of why i am so unhappy alot. i was in such a rush to find my true love and everything, i found him but maybe it was too early tht i found him. i need time to grow and find out who i am and understand myself. i need to love myself cuz y do i except anyone to love me if i cant even look at myself in the mirror? that now my friends r gettin cut off here and there many times and idk if i do it or its them. that i feel bad if i try 2 hangout wit them too long and my bf will get mad and will b jealous and want 2 hangout witout him sayin a word. is it me thats crazy?
bt he hangsout wit his friends all the time after we hangout and everything and they will do all these amazing things tht him and i never do. also his personality and attitude changes extremly tht ive only seen wen we were friends. he seems so blah and gets easily aggrevated bt wen hes out wit his friends he acts like this insane type of guy and just doesnt care. bt i kinda so tht too bt idt i do it tht extreme tho. i think we r bored of each other bt nt in the relationship we just rly need an excitement.